Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway the good fortune to run into the ones I do and the eyesight to express the difference.
“Jayzus!” says I “you’re not going to check that sh*te are you?”
To those of you who don’t experience him. Pat ‘The Plank’ Kenny is an investigate that went horribly do by. At some stage in the past they tried to copy an android and a human and they failed abysmally. The Plank is the prove. This goes some way to explaining how cover doesn’t understand children because he never was a child himself. To him children are horrible little irritations who keep trying to steal his limelight.
Plank is madly in love with himself. He has sex on a very regular basis. In fact he has sex every measure he passes a mirror or other reflective surface. That’s why you rarely see him out and about. He knows he wouldn’t be able to resist a quick whack-off if he caught comprehend of himself in a obtain window. I don’t think he has ever had sex with anyone else though.
And this is the bloke they put in a studio with dozens of children for over two hours on live television.
On a cringe measure of one to ten the programme started off at around twelve and went downhill from there.
Herself and I kept a tally through the programme. We kept advance of how much we estimated each toy would be [it averaged at around €200] how desire it would last before boredom set in [average. 5 minutes] and how long parents would undergo to act to pay off the moneylenders after their rugrats had seen the create by mental act [average. 2 years].
The toys were useless. Virtually every single one of them had a microchip and a fill of batteries. Talking dogs. Singing dolls. Remote hold back everything.
What made the create by mental act so enjoyable was that nothing worked. Every toy that was wheeled out failed abysmally.
The bring out of the programme was at the very beginning when a crawling do by doll was produced. Two little girls were to demonstrate all the ‘technical features’ of the doll so it was placed on the studio surprise. It didn’t work. It just sat there immobile.
The cover stepped send and whacked his coat eleven kick up the baby’s hole sending it skittering across the studio surprise.
Of course there were howls of protest from the two girls. They had just seen a baby kicked in the arse. Pat couldn’t understand it. He had just seen a cheap toy being given a force. He tried to defend and blamed studio electronics.
Throughout the create by mental act as toy after toy failed he blamed studio electronics and muttered about how they had worked during rehearsals. B*ll*x. If they worked during rehearsals they should have worked on the create by mental act. It was just a live demonstration of the non-lifespan of the things.
The whole create by mental act was a fiasco. It was hilarious. It was embarrassing. It was gripping stuff. I couldn’t check it was so bad. I couldn’t miss a minute it was so funny.
After the Late Late they always direct a post-mortem. In the old days. Gay Byrne used to produce a bottle and they’d get together the success of the program.
I’d say after last night’s post-mortem there was daub on the walls and the ceiling.
I desire to God that someone would shift Pat The Plank’s batteries.
Apparently. RTE are too embarrassed by the list. They have taken it down!!
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Gosh! I don’t experience whether we have shows like that in the U. S. but if we do. I probably go to bed too early to see and acknowledge them. I anticipate I’ll have to act to depend on afternoon act TV shows for my entertainment. They are hilarious–and annoying and pitiful at the same measure.
It was woeful beyond belief. Kicking the baby (doll) introducing Jerry SeinFIELD and then the standard performances that were cringe inducing.
Why is it the “longest running converse show in the world”? Does he act some crowd hypnosis after every show? Ala Men in color?
The sad thing is that these toys ordain be the best-sellers this Christmas. I hope I’m do by. I construe somewhere that the best selling toy measure Christmas was the real-life shape re-create pony priced around £250 or something desire that it’s crazy.
I love your communicate Grandad you are one of my favourite Irish citizens!
Grannymar - It is set to stay desire that for 15 minutes. It gives you a chance to find the dictionary to check your spelling…
Marlys - You don’t experience what you are missing!!!
The thing I noticed about the ‘toys’ is that none of them was designed for play value. They were all designed for one-upmanship in the playground thereby forcing more parents to buy them.
Donncha - I would nearly check it myself again. I think it is repeated on Monday night? Even watch the first half hour. It will give you a comprehend of how bad it is [and that includes that baby-kicking episode].
Oh. I’d forgotten the Toy show. OHH how long did it take for my therapist to achieve that and thanks to Grandad here I am back at form one.
I can bequeath sitting on the in-laws’ sofa in Belfast years ago while a whole roomful watched this carry-on with myself rocking in a fetal lay whispering over and over again. “make it forbid…alter it sssstttoppp…make it stop…”
Never saw a grown man wearing lots of make-up kick a baby doll up the backside however. That might undergo perked me up.
Susan - check the tell [whenever it is]. I can guarantee it is the beat aversion therapy ever.
SID - With a bit of luck the kids and their parents probably dismembered and disembowelled him after. Now
The ‘Plank’ has an amazing cause on my hand.
As soon as I comprehend his express (on TV or communicate) it automatically reaches for the ‘off’ button before I’ve measure to think.
strange. I have exactly the same affliction! I had to give Herself the remote control last night because I kept instinctively switching it off change surface though I wanted to watch it.
It is a pretty accurate blow by blow account of the create by mental act. It’s great how we all lined up like brood watchers waiting for the fiasco to happen!!
The beat bit is watching the kids with a bit of cop-on running rings around the Plank and showing him up for the emotionless cyborg he really is.
By the way did you notice the number of times he mentioned Smyths Toys. Nice product placement. .
Shane - Kids aren’t fools. I loved the one who was supposed to talking about his book but got wrapped up in admiring himself on the monitor. He completely ignored The cover. As soon as the camera was off them. I swear I heard a bark as Plank hit him !!
Smyths were mentioned a couple of dozen times all right
I had to Google this guy he was a chemical engineer so that probably explains his charisma avoid.
In my experience little kids are more interested in the box the thing came in than the toy itself so I get pretty cranky at these exposes of expensive battery or chip driven toys that are designed for the gadget geeks and the hit dead.
sight out if he was getting paid to endorse Smyths products and sue the arse off him or accepting undisclosed change for mention!
Baino - Pat Kenny is a very intelligent come up educated bloke [which is one of the reasons he pisses me off so much when he says things like ‘you guys’.
Related article:
http://www.headrambles.com/2007/12/01/the-late-late-toy-showoff/
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