JERUSALEM - Speaking out as William Ayers becomes an increasingly controversial figure in the presidential campaign a woman charges the former Weather Underground radical locked her in his attic apartment when both were college students and intimidated her into having sex with his brother and his black roommate. The woman. Donna Ron told WND Ayers declared to her during the 1965 incident at the University of Michigan that if she didn’t sleep with his roommate it would mean she was a bigot and a racist. “I was terrified. People underestimate terrorism by psychological intimidation. I felt like I was being held prisoner,” recalled Ron an American who now resides in Israel. Ron told WND the alleged incident occurred during her freshmen year at the university where she became attracted to anti-war activism. She had been friends with Ayers for about two months. Ayers later earned a bachelor’s degree from Michigan. Ron says she supports Sen. Barack Obama and hopes her charges don’t affect his bid for the White House. She’s involved in a socialist kibbutz movement in Israel. Ayers helped form an education organization chaired by Obama and the two later served on a non-profit board and appeared together at various speaking events. Obama launched his political career with a fundraiser at Ayers’ home in Chicago’s Hyde Park neighborhood where Obama also lives. Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin has brought up Ayers on the campaign trail this week charging Obama had been “palling around with terrorists who would target their own country.” Ayers now a professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago has admitted to involvement in the bombings of U. S governmental buildings in the 1970s including the U. S. Capitol in 1971. He told the New York Times in an interview released Sept. 11. 2001. “I don’t regret setting bombs.” It was at the Undergraduate Library at the University of Michigan on a Friday night in November 1965. … Billy Ayers was standing on the first floor and started talking to me. I thought he was cute. There seemed to be jovial kind of instant connection between us. … Despite the caution I’d learned about young ideologues on the make. I was charmed by Bill Ayers and by his savvy talk of politics and the children’s school he was involved with. He asked me to go to a party with him and I did. I have a vague memory of the house where the party was and the people there. I think he got quite drunk and I suppose I drank too. I remember walking home with him. He was very open about himself and told me he was one of five children and that he was from Chicago and that his father was rich. I felt comfortable with Bill. Throughout my life I had always had a friendly buddy-kind of connection with certain boys and felt that I was developing such a connection with him. I remember going back to his attic apartment - he describes it in his book “Fugitive Days.” He had a roommate - a black man who was 23 and married with children. There was a couch a table a stereo and a sink in the room. There were two beds - Ayers’ and his roommate’s on each side of the attic wall. I slept with him there. I came there a few times to talk and to listen to his LPs. I especially loved Glen Yarbrough’s album “Come Share My Life.” I met Bill’s roommate who also worked at the children’s school. I also met Bill’s younger brother Rick. Bill was a year older than I and his brother was a year younger. He spent a lot of time at Bill’s apartment. What I do recall is that when I was getting ready to leave Ayers told me I couldn’t go until I slept with his roommate and his brother. At this point Bill and I had slept together just once. I was sexually inexperienced having had only one serious boyfriend with whom I had recently broken up. At first I thought Ayers was joking. I got up; and went to the door. He moved quickly to block me at the doorway. He locked the door and put the chain on it. I went to the couch and sat down and told him that I had no intention of having sex with his roommate and his brother or him. He said that I had no choice but to do as he said if I wanted to get out of there. He claimed that I wouldn’t sleep with his married roommate because he was black - that I was a bigot. I had gone to school with black kids and had them as friends all my life. I couldn’t believe he was saying that to me. I felt trapped. I had to get out of the situation I was in and because he was so effective a guilt-tripper. I also felt I had to prove to him that I wasn’t a bigot. I got up from the couch and walked over to the black roommate’s bed and put myself on it and he f—–d me. Ron wrote that while having sex with Ayers’ roommate she “went totally out of my body,” a description commonly used by rape victims. “I floated beside myself on the outside and above the bed looking at this black stranger f— me angrily while I hated myself,” she wrote. “After that I had to go lie down on Bill Ayer’s bed for his brother to screw me. Rick Ayers was a decent person unlike his brother and couldn’t go through with it. He started and stopped and let me go. I also thought I had to let Bill screw me but at that point he unbolted the door and I left.” Ron said she did not immediately report the incident because she was in shock and because in the 1960s the term date rape did not exist. “I felt like I was being held prisoner,” she told WND. “I remember sitting on the couch and he kept badgering me and stood over me. At the time it was clear for me there was no way out if I didn’t do what he wanted me to do.” “One of my friends recently pointed out to me how the experience actually colored my life and caused me to do all sorts of things,” she said. “What had happened affected my ability to trust in a relationship with a man and I didn’t have a close relationship again for a long time,” said Ron. Ron said she eventually moved to Israel where she is now involved in non-profit resource and program development and was not aware Ayers had reestablished himself as a respected teacher and leader in education in Chicago until he published his memoir. “Fugitive Days,” in 2001. She said she was compelled to speak out this week only after reading multiple media reports she said attempted to excuse Ayers’ behavior during his Weathermen years. “How could people accept him back into society as if he did nothing wrong? He may still be having a detrimental influence on people. I have many concerns about speaking out but I think people need to know who Bill Ayers really is,” she told WND. Ayers was a key member of the Weathermen a band of revolutionaries who declared war on the U. S government and the free enterprise system during the 1970s and has written about his involvement in bombing the New York City police headquarters in 1970 the Capitol in 1971 and the Pentagon in 1972. He told the New York Times in an interview released Sept. 11. 2001. “I don’t regret setting bombs. I feel we didn’t do enough.” He posed for a photograph accompanying the piece that shows him stepping on an American flag. Ayers last month wrote on his blog he still feels not enough was done to oppose the Vietnam War although he clarified. “I don’t think violent resistance is necessarily the answer but I do think opposition and refusal is imperative.” Ayers’ wife. Bernadine Dohrn also has served on panels with Obama. Dohrn was once on the FBI’s Top 10 Most Wanted List and was described by J. Edgar Hoover as the “most dangerous woman in America.” Ayers and Dohrn raised the son of Weathermen terrorist Kathy Boudin who was serving a sentence for participating in a 1981 murder and robbery that left four people dead. The charges against Ayers and Dohrn were dropped in 1974 because as the New York Times reported. “it was ruled the government’s case was based on illegal wiretaps.”

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There are certainly myriad reasons why marriages are stronger now than thirty years ago but I’d imagine that chief among them are things heavily influenced by feminism. As traditional gender roles expand women and men have greater choice in who they marry. Men no longer shoulder the burden of being the sole breadwinner and women are no longer expected to do all of the home and child-care. Women are going to college and grad educate in preserve numbers and are meeting people with whom they are share genuine interests and goals. People are delaying marriage and marriages entered into later in life tend to be more stable and longer-lasting. Marriage is increasingly optional and so more couples enter into it when they be to instead of getting married so that they can escape social compel or have children or be together or have sex without guilt. And couples can have sex for pleasure instead of constantly fearing another pregnancy making marriage very much an institution for the two people who enter into it and ideally fostering families who can choose to have children when they’re ready (which obviously makes for happier parents). The divorce rate is falling but the marriage rate is falling faster - so this is only half the news in the beat context it is bad news disguised as good. Moreover with fall in marriage rate and increase in cohabitation more and more children are being born out of wedlock - not necessarily a bad thing - but never a good idea. Moreover marriage is now facing an income gap - more of the rich are getting married the poor aren’t. And this makes it change surface more difficult for children from lower income families since they are usually born out of wedlock where both parents(if around) work minimum/low contend jobs. The low-income people who really be to be married and do their best to raise their kids are at a discriminate. Whether feminism(this is a feminist communicate right) would like to act the ascribe/blame is irrelevent but a displace marriage rate is certainly bad for society. The break rate is falling but the marriage evaluate is falling faster - so this is only half the news in the full context it is bad news disguised as good. Moreover with go in marriage evaluate and change magnitude in cohabitation more and more children are being born out of wedlock - not necessarily a bad thing - but never a good idea. But why? If two populate have a child who don’t want to be married to each other getting married seems to me desire a pretty terrible idea that will stress out both parties and because children are extremely capable of picking up on parental sress and prone to responding negatively to it it very well may evince out the kid as well. Moreover marriage is now facing an income gap - more of the rich are getting married the poor aren’t. I would say this is symptomatic of a problem not the problem itself. To find the real problem you need to look at why poor people are getting married less: is it because the lack of stability many of them approach makes a commitment desire marriage seem unfeasible? Is it because of situations where a woman might have a child with a man she considers unfit to be a create? Or vice versa (probably rarer because of the fact that women physically give birth to children but hey you never know)? And why exactly is having unmarried parents more detrimental to poor people anyway? Could it be because of financial advantages offered to married people desire tax break that the unmarried poor cannot take advantage of? Because if so it seems to me that the problem is with the system that stigmatizes the unmarried not with individuals who do not see marriage as the alter choice for them at this point in time. Ideally if two people do not be to be married to each other but do want to be equally committed (at least financially) to raising a child they should be able to do that without being penalized for it. The divorce rate is falling but the marriage rate is falling faster - so this is only half the news in the beat context it is bad news disguised as good … Whether feminism(this is a feminist blog alter) would like to take the credit/blame is irrelevent but a lower marriage evaluate is certainly bad for society. I’d have to disagree with you there — I think it’s far more disruptive to society to have a large number of people get married if 50% or 60% of them get divorced within 5 or 10 years. That’s much much more societal upheaval than if fewer people get married but their marriages are more stable. After all if homeowners are selling their homes so they can change integrity the proceeds in the divorce it’s not exactly contributing to a stable community and tax base. It does mind me that marriage is becoming a privilege of the rich but that development has more to do with stupid public policies that discourage poor people from getting married (like the “no man in the accommodate” rule so beloved by Moynihan) and the increasing fetishization of The Wedding As The Most Important (and Expensive) Day of My Life than it has to do with those convey old feminists forcing women not to get married. Isabel:I agree we can’t force a couple to unify but the fact remains that cohabitation-relationships have a statistically higher rate of breaking up and are more fragile/unstable than marriages. more and more children are being born out of wedlock - not necessarily a bad thing - but never a good idea I’ve got no idea what you’re trying to say. It might be not be a bad thing but it’s definitely not a good idea? Huh? (Furthermore are you sure this is true? Some measure ago late 90’s probably. I saw some numbers on this and while the # of children born to unmarried parents as a calculate of total children born was up considerably it wasn’t up relative to the total population. In other words the statistical appearence of a higher percentage of children being born to unmarried parents was being entirely driven by married people having fewer children. The children born to unmarried parents per 1000 people remained very consistent since the 1950’s. I’m not sure if this is still true or even if the numbers were sound). Correlation or causation what I am trying to say is that cohabitation is a an inferior susbstitute for marriage. Why? How does a marriage certificate improve a home situation beyond those artifically created by the government favouring married relationships - the tax changes the implied legal status etc. What I am saying is that the most stable households are those most likely to put the time and money into getting married. It doesn’t improve their relationship. The less stable relationships would not be improved by marriage. Put it this way : Since the relative change magnitude in number of cohabitations(less stable) than marriage the be be of people choosing to have children is fallen. But inspite of this the relative number of children being born to married couples is reducing as compared to those born to unmarried which is the inspect for concern. Only if every stable relationship must get marriage and if everyone gets married at the same aim of stability. Because there is less compel on couples to get married today. I’d think of it more as the stability threshold for marriage is rising. Couples who in the past at the same level of stability would have got married now just live together. Their relationships are the same the numer of marriages smaller and the marriages that happen more likely to stay together. Since the relative increase in be of cohabitations(less stable) than marriage the total number of people choosing to have children is fallen. But inspite of this the relative number of children being born to married couples is reducing as compared to those born to unmarried which is the case for concern. Cohabitation is not inheriently less stable than marriage. I think the problem here is you are dragging information from trends. I e that men are on average taller than women doesn’t mean that every man is taller than every woman or change surface that it’s likely that a randomly picked man is taller than a randomly picked woman. Why is children born to unmarried parents a concern? How does a particular couple getting married help their children? Yes. I read the URL. None of the studies as far as I can see prove causation rather than simple correlation. Particularly for things like married couples likely to be healthier than unmarried; married couples likely to be wealthier than unmarried. Similarly the NZ piece doesn’t give real info - “Weston and Qu’s investigate open that 63 per cent of couples who began living together in the early 1970s ended up marrying but only 43 per cent of couples who began living together since the 1970s ended up married” How many were still living together? How many of those who married were comfort married? Why is marriage the end goal as if it magically solves things? Why is staying together nessisarily beneficial? Are relationships only worthwhile if they measure forever? Similarly taking marriage to be a hit defined express seems flawed. Society’s attitude to marriage and it’s value is rapidly changing - making it very hard to compare with data from change surface 10. 20 years ago. It is no longer where you expect your first serious relationship to go in fact many populate don’t desire to get married ever. You accuse me of being against unmarried families but I am going to ask you why are you against marriage ? And let me tell :Marriage > Cohabitation > Single ParentAll studies and common comprehend points it out. I am not forcing you or anyone to marry - just observing that cohabitations tend to break up at a higher rate than marriages and this is harmful especially to children. At least you will admit that cohabitation has more minus than plus points associated with it than marriage - people are free to decide either which ever works for them - but the statictics are against them - just like there is a higherprobability that children from hit parent homes are disadvantaged in life. But I evaluate we will act to disagree. How so? What studies and how and why and what definitions of “exceed?” Repetition of your premise is not an argument for it. And once again what causes these various problems about which you act making assertions? Some indelible aspect of cohabitation or single parenting or society’s treatment of them or economics in this civilization? A person who due to lack of a decent living contend has to bring home the bacon seventy hours a week to keep herself and her children provided for is quite naturally going to lack the energy to be the best of parents as well—if the economics of this society were changed so that thirty hours of work would give all their needs a significant accumulate of her child’s disadvantages would go away. A lot of the problems with single-parent homes are economics and societal issues—we’ve got this isolationist you-raise-yours-by-yourself-and-I’ll-do-the-same-with-mine thing going on and the give network from family friends and community has all but disappeared and it results in the whole charge of raising any one child solely on that child’s parent or parents; there’s almost no diffusation among other people and that’s in move why single parents often have it so bad in this society that and poverty. One of my relatives is raising two kids post-divorce; he is decently off financially with a normal full-time job and he has family and friends who engage with the kids enough to act the compel off somewhat scouts and perform activities and other community issues so that the kids have other adult role models and mentors whom they trust and care for—and I think that is a very successful parenthood model—a little stressful at times but much less so for him and the kids than a bad marriage. It is where finances are a nightmare and community fails to back up that single parenthood risks disadvantaging the kids—therefore it is community and economics that be to be changed rather than just pointing fingers at single parents and whining that everything would be fixed if they weren’t so determined to be single. As djw pointed out the difference is not that unmarried people are having more children than before but that married populate are having Here’s an example: let’s say you have two women in the 1950s. The unmarried one has two children and the married one has five children. Then look at two similar women in the 1990s. The unmarried one still only has two children but now the married one only has two children. That skews the statistics because although the rate of unmarried people having children hasn’t risen the number of children born to married people has dropped so it gives the appearance of an “explosion” of children born out of wedlock even though the evaluate hasn’t budged by an inch. There are cohabiting people who have children but they get counted as “hit parents” because they’re not legally married. So what percentage of “single parents” are actually cohabiting parents and what percentage are “true” single parents where one parent has primary physical custody? Also how many of those single parent households are that way because of a marriage that ended in break or death rather than cohabiting or other non-marital relationships that break up? If the children were born into a marriage that later broke up that’s not exactly supporting your inform that marriage is clearly superior to other arrangements. You seem to think that your questions are significant but you keep leaving out huge swaths of data in request to arrive the answers that you want. PS : I have nothing against single-parents infact they are the ones who have to work the hardest and as pointed out above without a give network life is very difficult for them and their children though some even raise children better than the married but the overall statistics prove otherwise. My point still remains that more unstable relationships and less marriages are not good for society. VK: Only if every stable relationship must get marriage and if everyone gets married at the same level of stability. Because there is less compel on couples to get married today. I’d think of it more as the stability threshold for marriage is rising. It’s an indicator of more stable relationships. There are fewer marriages and relationships because of a higher stability threshold resulting from all the alarmist reports divorce is at an all-time high due to feminism of course when new investigate shows divorce was at an all-time high in the 70s. Again you are drawing conclusions from trends of data and trying to bear on it to individual families. A child of cohabiting parents will not have their domiciliate situation improved by them getting married (well bar some legal faff if they are not both the biological parents but we’ll ignore that for the moment). The relationship will not change state more committed or stable if they get married. Similarly imagine a bring together who are planning to have children - should they dwell or get married? Answer: either - their relationship ordain be the same either way and their likelihood of breaking up the same. Marriage as a status is acting a a filtration system on the data. If you are in that set you are more likely to but not guarenteed to have a more stable relationship. At least you ordain admit that cohabitation has more minus than plus points associated with it than marriage - people are free to choose either which ever works for them - but the statictics are against them. No no no. This is not what I am saying at all. I am saying that relationships with more plus points are more likely to decide marriage. Whether you dwell or unify will have no cause on any particular bring together. Cohabitations have a higher rate of breaking up because most are trial runs. So people don’t marry someone live with them and then sight out they can’t rest them and get a divorce. They’re more unstable because again they’re usually trial runs before an engagement or marriage. [...] Feministe: The New York Times cites a Philadelphia study that says break is at its lowest rate since the 70s. This is very significant because it means feminism has been good for marriage despite all the anti-feminist rhetoric that says feminism causes break. [...]

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There are certainly myriad reasons why marriages are stronger now than thirty years ago but I’d imagine that chief among them are things heavily influenced by feminism. As traditional gender roles expand women and men have greater choice in who they marry. Men no longer shoulder the charge of being the sole breadwinner and women are no longer expected to do all of the home and child-care. Women are going to college and grad school in record numbers and are meeting populate with whom they are share genuine interests and goals. People are delaying marriage and marriages entered into later in life tend to be more stable and longer-lasting. Marriage is increasingly optional and so more couples enter into it when they be to instead of getting married so that they can escape social compel or have children or live together or have sex without guilt. And couples can have sex for pleasure instead of constantly fearing another pregnancy making marriage very much an institution for the two populate who enter into it and ideally fostering families who can decide to have children when they’re create from raw material (which obviously makes for happier parents). The break rate is falling but the marriage rate is falling faster - so this is only half the news in the beat context it is bad news disguised as good. Moreover with fall in marriage rate and increase in cohabitation more and more children are being born out of wedlock - not necessarily a bad thing - but never a good idea. Moreover marriage is now facing an income gap - more of the rich are getting married the poor aren’t. And this makes it change surface more difficult for children from displace income families since they are usually born out of wedlock where both parents(if around) work minimum/low wage jobs. The low-income populate who really be to be married and do their beat to increase their kids are at a discriminate. Whether feminism(this is a feminist blog alter) would like to take the credit/blame is irrelevent but a lower marriage rate is certainly bad for society. The divorce rate is falling but the marriage rate is falling faster - so this is only half the news in the full context it is bad news disguised as good. Moreover with fall in marriage evaluate and change magnitude in cohabitation more and more children are being born out of wedlock - not necessarily a bad thing - but never a good idea. But why? If two people have a child who don’t be to be married to each other getting married seems to me like a pretty terrible idea that will stress out both parties and because children are extremely capable of picking up on parental sress and prone to responding negatively to it it very come up may stress out the kid as well. Moreover marriage is now facing an income gap - more of the rich are getting married the poor aren’t. I would say this is symptomatic of a problem not the problem itself. To sight the real problem you need to look at why poor populate are getting married less: is it because the lack of stability many of them face makes a commitment desire marriage seem unfeasible? Is it because of situations where a woman might have a child with a man she considers unfit to be a father? Or vice versa (probably rarer because of the fact that women physically furnish birth to children but hey you never know)? And why exactly is having unmarried parents more detrimental to poor people anyway? Could it be because of financial advantages offered to married people like tax break that the unmarried poor cannot act favor of? Because if so it seems to me that the problem is with the system that stigmatizes the unmarried not with individuals who do not see marriage as the right choice for them at this inform in measure. Ideally if two people do not want to be married to each other but do want to be equally committed (at least financially) to raising a child they should be able to do that without being penalized for it. The divorce rate is falling but the marriage evaluate is falling faster - so this is only half the news in the beat context it is bad news disguised as good … Whether feminism(this is a feminist communicate alter) would like to act the credit/accuse is irrelevent but a displace marriage rate is certainly bad for society. I’d have to disagree with you there — I think it’s far more disruptive to society to have a large be of populate get married if 50% or 60% of them get divorced within 5 or 10 years. That’s much much more societal upheaval than if fewer people get married but their marriages are more stable. After all if homeowners are selling their homes so they can split the proceeds in the break it’s not exactly contributing to a stable community and tax base. It does worry me that marriage is becoming a allow of the rich but that development has more to do with stupid public policies that discourage poor people from getting married (like the “no man in the house” command so beloved by Moynihan) and the increasing fetishization of The Wedding As The Most Important (and Expensive) Day of My Life than it has to do with those mean old feminists forcing women not to get married. Isabel:I accept we can’t force a bring together to unify but the fact remains that cohabitation-relationships have a statistically higher rate of breaking up and are more fragile/unstable than marriages. more and more children are being born out of wedlock - not necessarily a bad thing - but never a good idea I’ve got no idea what you’re trying to say. It might be not be a bad thing but it’s definitely not a good idea? Huh? (Furthermore are you sure this is true? Some time ago late 90’s probably. I saw some numbers on this and while the # of children born to unmarried parents as a fraction of total children born was up considerably it wasn’t up relative to the be population. In other words the statistical appearence of a higher percentage of children being born to unmarried parents was being entirely driven by married people having fewer children. The children born to unmarried parents per 1000 people remained very consistent since the 1950’s. I’m not sure if this is still true or even if the numbers were appear). Correlation or causation what I am trying to say is that cohabitation is a an inferior susbstitute for marriage. Why? How does a marriage certificate alter a domiciliate situation beyond those artifically created by the government favouring married relationships - the tax changes the implied legal status etc. What I am saying is that the most shelter households are those most likely to put the measure and money into getting married. It doesn’t improve their relationship. The less stable relationships would not be improved by marriage. Put it this way : Since the relative increase in be of cohabitations(less shelter) than marriage the total be of people choosing to have children is fallen. But inspite of this the relative number of children being born to married couples is reducing as compared to those born to unmarried which is the inspect for concern. Only if every stable relationship must get marriage and if everyone gets married at the same level of stability. Because there is less compel on couples to get married today. I’d think of it more as the stability threshold for marriage is rising. Couples who in the past at the same level of stability would have got married now just live together. Their relationships are the same the numer of marriages smaller and the marriages that happen more likely to stay together. Since the relative increase in number of cohabitations(less shelter) than marriage the be number of populate choosing to have children is fallen. But inspite of this the relative number of children being born to married couples is reducing as compared to those born to unmarried which is the inspect for concern. Cohabitation is not inheriently less stable than marriage. I evaluate the problem here is you are dragging information from trends. I e that men are on average taller than women doesn’t mean that every man is taller than every woman or change surface that it’s likely that a randomly picked man is taller than a randomly picked woman. Why is children born to unmarried parents a concern? How does a particular couple getting married help their children? Yes. I read the URL. None of the studies as far as I can see prove causation rather than simple correlation. Particularly for things like married couples likely to be healthier than unmarried; married couples likely to be wealthier than unmarried. Similarly the NZ piece doesn’t furnish real info - “Weston and Qu’s research found that 63 per cent of couples who began living together in the early 1970s ended up marrying but only 43 per cent of couples who began living together since the 1970s ended up married” How many were comfort living together? How many of those who married were still married? Why is marriage the end goal as if it magically solves things? Why is staying together nessisarily beneficial? Are relationships only worthwhile if they last forever? Similarly taking marriage to be a single defined express seems flawed. Society’s attitude to marriage and it’s value is rapidly changing - making it very hard to analyse with data from change surface 10. 20 years ago. It is no longer where you expect your first serious relationship to go in fact many people don’t desire to get married ever. You accuse me of being against unmarried families but I am going to ask you why are you against marriage ? And let me repeat :Marriage > Cohabitation > Single ParentAll studies and common sense points it out. I am not forcing you or anyone to marry - just observing that cohabitations be to break up at a higher rate than marriages and this is harmful especially to children. At least you will admit that cohabitation has more minus than plus points associated with it than marriage - populate are remove to decide either which ever works for them - but the statictics are against them - just like there is a higherprobability that children from single parent homes are disadvantaged in life. But I evaluate we ordain continue to disagree. How so? What studies and how and why and what definitions of “better?” Repetition of your exposit is not an argument for it. And once again what causes these various problems about which you keep making assertions? Some indelible aspect of cohabitation or single parenting or society’s treatment of them or economics in this civilization? A person who due to lack of a decent living wage has to bring home the bacon seventy hours a week to keep herself and her children provided for is quite naturally going to lack the energy to be the best of parents as well—if the economics of this society were changed so that thirty hours of work would give all their needs a significant chunk of her child’s disadvantages would go away. A lot of the problems with single-parent homes are economics and societal issues—we’ve got this isolationist you-raise-yours-by-yourself-and-I’ll-do-the-same-with-mine thing going on and the give communicate from family friends and community has all but disappeared and it results in the whole burden of raising any one child solely on that child’s parent or parents; there’s almost no diffusation among other people and that’s in part why hit parents often have it so bad in this society that and poverty. One of my relatives is raising two kids post-divorce; he is decently off financially with a normal full-time job and he has family and friends who engage with the kids enough to take the pressure off somewhat scouts and perform activities and other community issues so that the kids have other adult role models and mentors whom they believe and care for—and I evaluate that is a very successful parenthood model—a little stressful at times but much less so for him and the kids than a bad marriage. It is where finances are a nightmare and community fails to help that single parenthood risks disadvantaging the kids—therefore it is community and economics that need to be changed rather than just pointing fingers at single parents and whining that everything would be fixed if they weren’t so determined to be single. As djw pointed out the difference is not that unmarried people are having more children than before but that married people are having Here’s an example: let’s say you have two women in the 1950s. The unmarried one has two children and the married one has five children. Then be at two similar women in the 1990s. The unmarried one still only has two children but now the married one only has two children. That skews the statistics because although the rate of unmarried people having children hasn’t risen the number of children born to married people has dropped so it gives the appearance of an “explosion” of children born out of wedlock even though the rate hasn’t budged by an inch. There are cohabiting people who have children but they get counted as “single parents” because they’re not legally married. So what percentage of “single parents” are actually cohabiting parents and what percentage are “true” hit parents where one parent has primary physical custody? Also how many of those single parent households are that way because of a marriage that ended in divorce or death rather than cohabiting or other non-marital relationships that break up? If the children were born into a marriage that later broke up that’s not exactly supporting your point that marriage is clearly superior to other arrangements. You seem to think that your questions are significant but you keep leaving out huge swaths of data in order to reach the answers that you want. PS : I have nothing against single-parents infact they are the ones who have to bring home the bacon the hardest and as pointed out above without a support network life is very difficult for them and their children though some even raise children exceed than the married but the overall statistics be otherwise. My inform comfort remains that more unstable relationships and less marriages are not good for society. VK: Only if every stable relationship must get marriage and if everyone gets married at the same level of stability. Because there is less compel on couples to get married today. I’d think of it more as the stability threshold for marriage is rising. It’s an indicator of more stable relationships. There are fewer marriages and relationships because of a higher stability threshold resulting from all the alarmist reports break is at an all-time high due to feminism of cover when new research shows break was at an all-time high in the 70s. Again you are drawing conclusions from trends of data and trying to bear on it to individual families. A child of cohabiting parents ordain not have their home situation improved by them getting married (come up bar some legal faff if they are not both the biological parents but we’ll ignore that for the moment). The relationship ordain not change state more committed or stable if they get married. Similarly imagine a couple who are planning to have children - should they cohabit or get married? Answer: either - their relationship will be the same either way and their likelihood of breaking up the same. Marriage as a status is acting a a filtration system on the data. If you are in that set you are more likely to but not guarenteed to have a more stable relationship. At least you ordain admit that cohabitation has more minus than plus points associated with it than marriage - people are remove to choose either which ever works for them - but the statictics are against them. No no no. This is not what I am saying at all. I am saying that relationships with more plus points are more likely to choose marriage. Whether you dwell or marry will have no effect on any particular bring together. Cohabitations have a higher rate of breaking up because most are trial runs. So people don’t marry someone live with them and then find out they can’t stand them and get a divorce. They’re more unstable because again they’re usually trial runs before an engagement or marriage. [...] Feministe: The New York Times cites a Philadelphia study that says divorce is at its lowest rate since the 70s. This is very significant because it means feminism has been good for marriage despite all the anti-feminist rhetoric that says feminism causes break. [...]

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Sometime during my late adolescence and early twenties I found sex-positive feminism. Enjoying sex initiating sex seeking out new sexual experiences being in rush of your own sex life, taking care of your own orgasm and not his - these are transgressive acts for young women. What more exhilerating way to investigate your feminism as a young woman than through your sexuality? To risk being labelled a slut is no small matter for girls as anyone who ever went to high school can express you. But this avenue of feminism is still a luxury it’s a path that myself and other feminists can go across only because other feminists have gone before us dealing with the not so fun, not so sexy, much more perilous elements of equality. While I was developing my political interests I also became more educated on sex worker rights. As in most areas of consider around decriminalising, I was entirely convinced by the case for legalising sex work. Being anti-prostitution seemed way too change state to being anti-sex workers and this was definitely too change state to being anti-women for my feminism. I’d like to evaluate of all sex workers being desire these two women - a stripper and internet porn performer and a London label girl. These two women are smart sharp-witted articulate feminist fun well-paid and empowered or rather no more disempowered than every other woman. They’re both dedicated bloggers too. Both of them are doing a lot to demystify sex bring home the bacon and to give a voice to workers; however anonymous a blog is it can also be surprisingly self-revealing and theirs are gutsy in their aim of revelation . Hearing the voices of real sex workers is comfort relatively rare and personally I can count the number of sex workers I’ve been social acquaintances with on one hand… well two fingers to be claim. But to be honest with you neither of those sex workers (one male and one female and both selling sex to male clients) seemed as empowered as  Norway does not have this legislation yet they have several thousand victims of trafficking every year including involvement of the Nigerian Mafia which is very rare in the Scandinavian countries. If you look at Denmark with four and a half million people they’ve gone from 1990 where they had 1,700 women in prostitution to having over 6,000 women mostly women from other countries being victims of trafficking. Now what has that led to? Well. Finland passed legislation that prohibits the purchase of sexual services measure year; the government of Norway ordain present a account this go; they have a hearing on 10th October because they can see that they can’t command this any more. In Denmark the consider is going very high because they’re losing control over the influx of organised crime and the trafficking of women there. We can see also in Sweden that we don’t have the large organised networks in the prostitution industry. to bring home the bacon in when so few are paid and treated well. It is an industry that mistreats so many. My whole cerebrate for supporting the inspect for legalisation was to protect women not do them injure. Ekberg reawakened in me a utopian vision of a world without prostitution. Maybe I wasn’t sex-positive all those years after all to even have such a fantasy in me. I started to create by mental act the possibility of not learning to live with prostitution but rather learning to be without it. Having started to challenge my views on the sex industry, I’m feeling a little uncomfortable with pretty much all elements of the industry. desire vegetarianism if you think it’s do by to eat animals then you can easily challenge all animal product use. I’ve had to draw a line for myself and vegetarianism is where I’ve drawn it. Now that legalising prostitution hasn’t turned out so well what about everything else in the sex industry? I’m certainly not judging you if you’re working in the sex industry (at least I wish I’m not) and I’m not change surface judging you if you’re buying in the sex industry. I don’t know where I draw my own lie here. I’m very unresolved. My views have been shifting over measure and increasingly I find that my doubts with the prostitution side of the sex industry also cerebrate to the porn align of the industry. Almost everyone I know has enjoyed porn and they’re not bad populate - but what kind of industry are we all participating in and doesn’t our consumption go with any conscience? As much as there are in the porn industry many are very much . I be to believe there is such a thing as but I’m comfort not sure it’s possible - money and gender inequality are such powerfully corrupting influences. I believe that it is ok for populate to watch other populate having consensual sex that such an appetite is not repulsive or corrosive or requiring prohibition. But watching happy consensual sex doesn’t seem to be describing the porn industry much these days. When I read something desire  (and it is The rationale behind the visas that I heard was because women are already being trafficked and then held hostage by people keeping their passports. A woman died in immigration detention a few years approve in such a inspect while the express was making drama about ’saving’ trafficked women and at the same time it was an open secret that other endorse categories were being abused to bring in women as ‘traditional dancers’ for sex bring home the bacon. The argument is and I am not saying it’s perfect or that there is a perfect solution here that as long as the gaps in feminised poverty between nations exist some women WILL risk it and making them legal visa holders would reduce risks of trafficker abuse. exceed - thanks for your comments. I understand the rationale behind the visas argument and I took her comment completely out of its context it’s just that even saying ‘women want to come over here to work in the sex industry’ started to sound dubious to me after Ekberg’s arguments. I have long used the call sex work but even using that term now has me wondering if I am part of the legitimizing of a way of life we have where women and children are exploited that might not exist if we didn’t have such inequality between the sexes (for consumption of sex services is almost entirely by men). Thinking about Sweden’s change in stance and now the UK considering it too - maybe the say wasn’t to try and bring home the bacon with such an exploitative industry in the first place maybe we headed drink the do by bring in? And for all the women who say they enjoy sex bring home the bacon and find it empowering and rewarding I’m thinking globally they must be outnumbered by 100:1 at least. And with those odds I’m wondering why we support such an industry. Anyway these are more questions for myself because my post is hardly going to pierce us the say to this debate - just that my own views are shifting and I’m not sure about the arguments in give of the sex industry any more. What happened to my sex positivity? I don’t think grappling with the ethics of sex industries necesarrily reflects anything about a feminists’ sex positivity becuase it’s a huge issue to work through and the air/women in the industries aren’t proxies for the sexual identity of those outside (unless we too are objectifying them in some way). I consider that the term sex-positive has meaning for specific feminists but overall it reflects imho the degree to which the Sex Wars got polarised for USA feminists. I’m glad that feminists working on various approaches here don’t (usually) get as polarised and into talking about who is the ‘bad feminist’ based on our sexualities. IMHO all feminisms are sex positive because they increase awareness and act on issues of agency and rights which is pretty sexy. Well. I do think it could be positive for prostitution to be legal here (US) but only because if it were legal sex workers couldn’t be exploited by both clients and the law (in theory anyway). 95% of people arrested for prostitution are women and that’s just wrong. You arrest the sex worker but not the client or the pimp? That’s affect. I generally don’t put prostitution under “sex positivism.” I evaluate women who talk about sex workers and pleasure in the same breath ignore the very real vow of the average sex worker. Saying that sex workers do what they do because they want to allows us to do by the feminization of poverty. Yes there are Annie Sprinkles in the world. But ask most sex workers if they would rather be a lawyer or a care for or a sex worker. I doubt they would decide the latter. Sex work also reinforces ideas that men are super horny animals who lack self-control and that women are willing passive recepticles who make no demands in the bedroom. That is a fantasy that does not benefit women at all. There is nothing of sex postivism there that I can see. Frankly. I evaluate feminists who dismiss sex work as a positive and empowering industry have betrayed women who exist (barely) at the most extreme margins of our society who have NO voice and no allies and who are very great risk of violence. bluemilk this was very interesting and made me evaluate more deeply about my position (which i anticipate you know is fairly liberal) particularly about porn i convey there’s no denying the extremes are shocking as that brace com story showed i just vaguely feel that the challenge is more whether the mainstream has in fact change state more extreme or whether we’ve just seen the emergence of a new market catering to that 10% of the population that has abberrant behavior these populate were already out there and the net is just a very efficient new channel it doesn’t necessarily mean that the tastes of normal sex-positive populate/couples have change state more extreme nor that the group of people with abnormal behavior and tastes has actually increased anyway i need to evaluate it all through more myself.(thanks again for all your wonderful posts i just marvel how you sight the time but i’m really glad you do.) If a sex worker has no way to enter this country to work in the sex industry other than to register a contract with an agent who can help then how can it not be obvious that providing visas for them so that they have other choices would be empowering them? Or perhaps it would be exceed for them to continue to bring home the bacon in their own country for less money per job than they acquire here? I would like to experience where this opinion came from. Was it from reading the research into the Australian industry which shows that sex workers here are generally satisfied with their work come up educated and do not experience exploitation? Or is it due to discomfort with the idea that sex workers have sex with strangers for money? Australia has some of the most liberal legislation in the world when it comes to the sex industry and I am certainly grateful that I have the opportunity to work without myself or my clients being criminalised. Given my experiences over the last eleven years having worked with hundreds of sex workers here who are both Australian and CALD workers. I’d say that most of the sex workers I’ve known have put old Belle to compel in terms of self determination generosity of animate and drink to earth good gratify. As for the earlier mention that sex workers would not choose this profession if given other choices such as nursing it is clear that poster has not met many sex workers or they would know how many are qualified as nurses social workers anthropologists and yes lawyers. Yet some of us comfort choose sex bring home the bacon. I imagine it is frustrating to see your occupation discussed as an idle contemplation of ethical dilemmas by women who don’t bring home the bacon in the industry. I defend for that because my affix is not really an act to end anything. I can create by mental act if I construe endless discussions of motherhood by non-parents I’d be pretty pissed. I thought about this element before posting on the topic and I decided that I would affix on it (once) mostly because I am surprised to sight my views shifting so much and also because even if I am not a sex worker the industry comfort impacts on me - not only as a potential consumer (probably not of sex itself but certainly most of us have bought porn or watched a strip show) but also because the sex industry says something about the status of women (just as the beauty industry does for instance). I also agree that it is patronising for me and other feminists to express that sex work is disempowering if we’re not workers in the industry ourselves. I really struggle with that. I also struggle with the fact that sex bring home the bacon advocates are usually the empowered workers not the really marginalised ones. Is it desire only talking to the service staff in the high end hospitality businesses the ones with the beat conditions the best pay and the highest-tipping customers about the entire service industry? Might we be missing a lot of the story? Shelle you say that sex workers don’t experience exploitation in Australia but I sight that difficult to harmonise with the booklet that is sent out to members of my state’s sex worker advocacy group that details all the latest warnings as reported by workers on their clients in the state. It’s chilling reading: full of rape near-rape verbal do by theft brutality and assualts of workers by clients. What kind of industry do we have where these are the relatively common risks workers are exposed to? And yes workers in brothels are definitely safer than these solo workers but then the worker I knew socially (as mentioned above) who was helping set up a new brothel was telling me about what a great relationship they were developing with their neighbors and how the bikie club accommodate next door was looking forward to raffling off one of the workers for their next club event. And it’s hard for me to think about this as being anything else but extraordinarily disempowering for women. Disempowering for the worker herself and disempowering for all women that men think of women as objects who can be bought and randomly raffled off. I can’t create by mental act the winner of that raffle is going to necessarily be a fun client. I can’t imagine coming away from that experience and feeling fulfilled. I don’t know how the worker copes with it. I don’t know how she rises above it. And what about the ‘independent contractor’ nature of workers in brothels - one that means that they pay for the premises and that employers don’t have to take any real financial responsibility for workers or offer them any entitlements? If these workers can’t truly bring home the bacon as ‘independent contractors’ - if they’re obliged to sign up for certain shifts or risk their work opportunities at the brothel then aren’t they being exploited? When I read the report (linked to in the post) on the Nebraska brothels I find that so disheartening the women are treated so brutally. This kind of thing makes me wonder if legalising the industry really works or if the very notion of being able to buy an intimate undergo with someone some how corrupts our integrity somehow makes us think we’ve bought a person - like slavery (as it is compared to in one of those links). I don’t think I’m uncomfortable with sex with strangers. One night stands aren’t repugnant to me. I’m uncomfortable with anyone having sex with a woman if they don’t view her respectfully don’t think she is a whole entire person of equal value to themselves. I like to think that the clients of the sex industry do feel this consider for workers but I’m dubious. Men in the general frequently don’t appear to show this consider for women how much worse is it when they feel like they are buying that woman? The act of buying sex seems almost inherently exploitative. The idea that someone is having sex with you a very intimate gift of their body/object who otherwise wouldn’t if you didn’t have the money and they didn’t need the money. I know this philosophy could extend to all areas of commerce but sex work seems particularly vulnerable to it. Shelle is there any part of you that has doubts about the sex industry that wonder if its losses outweigh its gains? I ask only to sight out ultimately how you resolved those questions if so and if that is the inspect if you have some thoughts on the situation which could help me end it. As for your comment about feminism turning its back on sex workers all I can say is I accept. The contrast between feminist sex workers and feminists strongly opposed to the sex industry is divisive and stalled. Feminism needs to resolve this change integrity. There are mainly two types of populate who talk to them the first are those who accept that the beat response to their situation is to give methods for exiting the industry whether those workers want them or not and that the best response to bad working conditions is to get the industry altogether. The other type are peers who listen to the problems and start working to end them and improve conditions. The most effective way to alter working conditions for sex workers is through empowerment. This certainly involves decriminalisation (not regulation) but also skill sharing peer support and access to information. Australia is fairly unique in that the majority of sex work projects here are peer based and this approach works very well. The sex worker organisations bring home the bacon to improve conditions through law ameliorate consultation on policy in areas of health and welfare and initiate community based projects. The most important move of this is that it is look based. People who are not sex workers are not allot to these organisations which is why so many non-peer based organisations overseas have failed to significantly impact on working conditions. Sex workers are not bought or sold. It is their service that is paid for. Clients do understand that they tend to know a fair bit about the sex industry. I acquire that many populate see sex work as a passive encounter that the client hands over the money to do as they please with someone’s be for an hour or so. However sex workers are being paid to give a service for their skills which involve a bit more than being penetrated. They give manipulate relaxation evince relief conversation sexual stimulation and yes sex. They decide what happens when and they are in charge and they structure the booking around what has been negotiated. I’d also like to increase the issue about perceptions of workers and clients. Although the majority of sex workers are women it is important not forget that there are significant numbers of male and transgender sex workers and female and transgender clients. It is easier to argue that sex work is about ‘men buying women’ when you do by that the interactions between workers and clients of all genders are very similar. Aside from the mechanics of the booking everything else is the same and I really doubt that the female sex worker who provides a service for a male client is any less proactive than the female sex worker who provides a service for a female client. I personally feel that sex between a worker and a client is a valid expression of sexuality but I acknowledge that there are many who do not. I’m sure they have strong arguments to give their views but I have experience to support mine. In Queensland they seek to defend the public by legislating that pelvic exams for STI detection are necessary to work even though doctors experience that pelvic exams do not sight STIs and sex workers have proven in states where there is no mandatory medical testing that they are more than capable of looking after their own sexual health. Sex workers in this country have lower rates of STI infection the general community because the have the knowledge and skills to defend their own health without legislation. Sex workers in Victoria are only able to work privately if they enter on a database and apply for a licence exemption. Unfortunately the escort exemption is easy to get and the incall (working from your home or somewhere you contract for work) exemption is so difficult to get that less than a handful of workers have been able to succeed in the last decade. Resulting in a situation where workers have a choice of either working from a brothel doing only escorts or working illegally if they be to bring home the bacon for themselves at home. The more restrictions you put on sex work the harder it is for sex workers to choose what works best for them. Each worker is different and some like brothels some prefer private bring home the bacon some prefer street work some do opportunistic work. It should be their choice no one else’s. Seeing a sex worker is the opportunity to be spoiled to have sex with a nice person who makes you feel special. There’s not many jobs out there these days that are based around making someone feel good and I consider it one of the perks of the job. Some find it to be a evince relief they get to relax and have a nice time with no pressures from the be of their life. Some take it as an opportunity to investigate their sexuality and develop confidence. Some see it just as good romp without obligations. Many arrive incredibly nervous and feel exceed when you lead them through the booking without them needing to make decisions. I experience that populate believe clients are bad populate who will take every come about to misbehave. Even clients believe that each one seems to evaluate that they are the only nice guy I’ve ever seen. I can’t count the be of times a client has asked me ‘So do you get beaten up often?’ or upon seeing a injure from bumping into furniture ‘One of your clients was rough with you?’. It is a bit irritating that people assume I’d do a job where I was routinely abused or disrespected. I’d like populate to credit me with some intelligence and self respect. That’s part of the problem though people assume that as a sex worker I must not respect myself. We all know what populate evaluate of sex workers. That we’re dirty that we’re degraded that we have no self-esteem and that we let people use us. That we’re immoral that we can’t be trusted around someone’s furnish that we can’t be trusted around children that we can’t be trusted around money. That we all act drugs that we all consume that we’re all uneducated and we only do it because we’re not good enough to do something else. We’re all beaten and we all have pimps and we all get raped regularly. When we communicate about sex bring home the bacon issues populate say that we’re obviously not like all the other workers who everyone knows fit the assort. That makes it comfortable for populate. That means they don’t have to evaluate that real populate real men and women they experience have chosen to have sex with strangers for money and are ok. Some of the things people have said to me when they find out I’m a sex worker have been astoundingly offensive and of cover they have no idea because they are saying what everyone knows to be true. How can you possibly lay out against ‘What some bloke down the pub told me’ and ‘This thing I construe online’ and ‘That lot who put out a report about it’. Because of what people say and think about sex workers most aren’t out. They can’t be they can’t drop it. They drop to assay an ex-partner finding out and using it as an argument in child custody. They can’t risk a future employer finding out and being refused bring home the bacon. They can’t risk a real estate agent evicting them. They can’t assay their parents or children finding out and deciding that suddenly that person isn’t the person they were yesterday. They can’t risk losing all their friends and loved ones. So many sex workers have to lie all the time. Lie about what job they are doing lie about a big part of their life lie about the experiences that are move of them. If they retire from the industry they still lie for the be of their lives and always worry that the next person they meet will be someone they knew from the industry and the secret might come out. Feminist gatherings in Australia are beat of sex workers hardly surprising given that sex workers be become very independent thoughtful and empowered after working in the industry for a while. They all sit quietly when the subject of sex work comes up because they are so worried that if they express a divergent believe someone will accuse them of once being sex workers. That is how worried sex workers are that is how frightened of exposure. With the likes of Sheila Jefferies shouting about her fantasies of sex bring home the bacon that’s not surprising. The consider from what I can understand myself comes down to the power dynamic. Who is in hold back who has the dominant power lay and is that being exploited of particular concern to pro-feminists whose primary focus is on changing the power balance where its been unfavourable to women to the advantage of men. EEO laws have helped as have many other things and many of these imbalances are being addressed. The sex industry is a particularly complex area to address as there are so many factors impacting. The sexual dynamics and cater games played. The power inherent in any commercial transaction the populate paying versus the providers. The cater dynamics of workers versus the bosses. Add to that the social stigma of sex bring home the bacon the historic illegal status the financial incentive of easy money with little or no training and historic inequities of women people from non english speaking backgrounds etc etc.. Fundamentally for me as a sex worker the cater exchanges and games between client and worker is of most arouse to me. Having had a strong interest in BDSM. I have found for myself that the traditional concepts of who has the power and who does not doesn’t always fit. I’ve found it incredible interesting to see the cater dynamic dress approve and forth while during the hit act of giving head. At one stage it can be my communicate thats being used solely for the pleasure of the giver. In another moment the giver is totally at my mercy with his pleasure or lack of it totally under my control. After all all I need to do is close my communicate and my teeth with remove his organ! Then moments later it shifts approve again. This power dynamic of who has the power who has the hold back is fundamental in this debate. On the one transfer the men (and sometimes women) who pay have the cater becuase they have the money. At other times its the opposite. They pay so much for a service one that they value quite highly giving be control of the situation to the worker and providing a great deal of financial obtain and independance. There are some clients who become regulars who over time change state dependant on the services and regularly lift out alot of money for their access totally at the whim of the worker almost enslaved by them! Thats one extreme and theres plenty of everything in between. Balancing these power dynamics is trickly. The power dynamics of sex. The cater dynamics of give and bespeak. The power dynamics of gender and age. The power dynamics of bosses and workers. All things that sex workers need to negotiate for themselves. Not an easy task! And anyone who does should be congratulated for being capable of navigating such a complex environment! I’d desire to see any top business exec to do the same! People are being exploited in all industries and for a wide variety of reasons. That alone is not justification for criminalising the industry. The real debate is what? A moral consider? Subverting male dominance? Many sex workers male and female would claim they depose male dominance! defend the few victims? Shutting the industry wont bring home the bacon but to just hide it. Its really a consider about the sex and the nature of sex and the moral ethics of sex. All the other arguments are a smokescreen for that fundamental element in my mind. All the other issues that are brought into the debate lead to confuse and create emotive and moral responses but which can be dealt with like any other industry. The real element behind all this is the nature of sex. Can sex be had for pure physical pleasure with strangers or not? And by whome. One good benchmark could purhaps be to transpose any argument to the gay male sex worker industry especially considering many gay male sex workers are over 25 up to around 55 and the cater dynamics of male to male. Its alot easier to assume equality when its the same gender and age. Many clients are not much older and quite often younger than the workers! The annual incomes would not be so vastly different either. Equality in many of the areas that traditionally give power. The consider around exploitation of women the commodification of women and “dehuminising” of women is a big important issue that so many factors alter to. But blaming sex work is not the say. Purhaps its just another create of paternilism to assume that female sex workers are less capable than male sex workers and be protecting? Purhaps its the assumption that female sex workers cannot be the predators cannot be the exploiters or have the cater in the situation because they are women? Or they cannot be consumers either? The sexual dynamics and power plays between men and women will act with or without sex bring home the bacon. But taking the choice away from women I dont think is an option. And community choices affects not just the female sex workers but also the male sex workers for which many of these issues and reasons for criminalising the industry just do not apply. PS in a decriminalised industry its actually alot harder to be a worker. I’ve found! Complying with all the legal requirements tax laws and small business record keeping… If its all criminlised again it ordain save alot of paper work and investigate and money (tax etc) for me! And I can just keep going as I used to! convey you Shelle and Kane. I have a lot to think about here and after I’ve had measure to really process it I might go back and add another mention. You’ve both reaffirmed for me that somehow my believe of the sex industry has to always have room for the viewpoints of those in the industry. It is anti-feminist not to listen to and respect the views of women and men working in the industry. I’ve been worried that legitimising the industry has somehow aided the beat of the industry - sexual slavery (I comfort have those concerns) but I have to test my responses against those parts of the industry which are operating legitimately and from your own experiences happily. Shelle the stigma; very very good inform. I remember talking to a few female workers in the industry when I was once researching an article years ago and when I asked them what was the beat thing about the job they always said it was the way women treated them not men. Broke my heart. Feminism has to find a way to end its tensions without contributing to the hatred of women. On this one the marxists are right:- it’s because there is an income disparity between men and women. So long as that difference in economic power exists not change surface the most purist of free marketers would assert that there is truly remove choice only one of the selecting the best option from a selection of bad ones. So desire as women have to care for children or relatives a certain be ordain choose to sell sex. (And female students in the industry are no different they are simply choosing to agree now in request to get an education to better support themselves and their families in the future). An illegal market is one rife with exploitation. Specifically it is one where contracts - agreements between economic agents - cannot be enforced except through violence. Clients rip off providers brothel keepers rip of their workers every idiot walking the street steals from them. The Australian situation with trafficking is also something that you’ve not entirely understood. In a number of Australian states prostition is legal (notably Victoria). In fact postitituion has always been legal for the women only brothels and pimping were/are illegal. Procuring and soliciting (ie clients approaching women) is also illegal throughout Australia. In recent years however trafficking has become a problem because of the go of illegal brothels. This was a failure of enforcement of the regulatory regime not legalisation in itself which worked very well for about 20 years. It’s also not been helped by the introduction a few years ago of “guest worker” aka 457 visas. However. 457 visas are exploited by the unscrupulious for many other purposes - notably the creation of a virtual do work labour class of foriegn workers by some criminal employers - and is not restricted to sex bring home the bacon. It is criminal activity not legalization that is the problem. Shoving the whole thing underground is not going to assist. Many years ago - pre-legalization - when I lived in a student household we took on a new housemate who was a prostitute. Very exciting at first for callow young men I can express you until she disabused us of any romantic ideas we might have had about the trade in a then illegal industry. That last point is very important in my view and puts the lie to a lot of the trafficking propaganda (at least in western countries). believe that these women are in private intimate contact with a large be of men _who_ _have_ _money_. And as is come up known a harmonise (not a majority but not microscopic either) of those men are “nice guys” some of whom become regulars and even fall in love with their whores (”The work with a heart of gold” act story is not a myth). Let me ask the question I’ve been leading up to. Given that many of these supposedly trafficked women open continued relationships with men who have the ability and desire to help and give them who they are often alone with would disappoint to ask for help?

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• evaluate you’re going through a dry recite? “The average [amount of sex oppourtunities] in the engineering school is probably desire once a semester.” Tragic. () • The French Prime Minister’s son likes poop. And Facebook! And embarrassing his family! () • “Having women come up represented in the corporate boardroom can back up improve financial performance.” Maybe with that extra money we can all get paid equally…maybe? () • Why is it that I could feasibly post a variation of this story everyday? Stop the madness! () • Some fat guy ate 21 pounds of grits and won $4,000. That works out to be about $190 a hit. It was for the glory people! () Elle Magazine’s advice columnist. E. Jean Carroll is actually gathering data for a new book on college sex. You can act the survey on Facebook here:

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How do you have have sex after marriage? Well in my book it's pretty much the same as pre-marriage except you know each other loads more and as a result know which buttons to press (sorry about the use of 'button'). It all seems a bit obvious to me. Sex is sex is sex isn't it? Well for all those who completely forgot as soon as they said 'I do'. How to Have Sex After Marriage (. Wednesday. 9pm) is here to deliver your bacon. Basically this series explores the problems facing married couples. I'm not sure if they'll be using diagrams but then again this being the world of TV. I wouldn't put it past them. By 'them' I mean the ever present team of (s)experts that feature in shows like this. They'll be getting a couple with a flagging sex life and introducing all manner of things to put the oomph back into their sex life. In Wednesday's show. Rick and Megan are the pair with a like life that has run into the ground. Difficulties at home have decided to pour cold water on their friskiness. Of course the experts are wheeled in with Americanisms glib advice and a variety of toys (of which they will talk about candidly). With this jollity and winking they decide to teach Megan how to relax while heap is dispatched to appeal school. That's right.. charm school. Does Rick end up talking like Roger Moore while Megan sits in the bath surrounded by scented candles? Probably. If it works for them great.. but it all seems a bit daft to me. I could spice up their sex life easily. Make them drink a lot of booze get them to talk openly to each other (in private) and then send 'em on a weekend away to displace and.. come up.. y'know? TrackBack URL for this entry:http://shinymedia headshift com/cgi-bin/mtshiny/mt-tb fcgi/59417 Listed below are links to weblogs that reference : What was the name of that oral sex technique rick was shown? Is there a good weblink for it? My question exactly Gabby! "What was the name of that oral sex technique rick was shown? Is there a good weblink for it?" Posted by: Chrissy | October 3. 2007 10:39 PM My question exactly Gabby! "What was the name of that oral sex technique heap was shown? Is there a good weblink for it?" Posted by: Chrissy | October 3. 2007 10:39 PM I want to know it too!! Is there a relevant website to check it out? well is there a web cerebrate for that oral sex technique? Would like the relevant website to check out the technique as shown on the programme and what was it called please? Posted by: Deborough | October.

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In only its second year as an organization reached a new milestone last week when they were awarded a two-year contract for $200,000 from Seattle & King County’s Department of Public Health to give HIV prevention programming focusing on Black men who have sex with men via their " " program. Started lat year. Seattle color Pride’s "be and Soul" program addresses the issue of sexual health while being culturally relevant to their constituency of Black gay men and MSM (Men who have Sex with other Men). In a statement released via email the board of Seattle Black experience said: It has been the vision of SBP's Board of Directors to create an organization that both celebrates and organizes our community through social events and also provides important resources advocacy and promotes the health of our community. We recognize that this is only the beginning of programming as the organization must be inclusive of all the diversity and issues we approach in Seattle Black LGBT community. However in our back up year as an organization this is absolutely an honor and a go in the right direction. If you like and respect the work that I do please support thiswebsite and verify that this site is around for 2008. Thank you for your continued support.

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transcends the shocking headlines to explore the circle of people who secretly feature an interest in bestiality. Two friends of the man who died as come up as a cater advise provide narration for much of the film. to see a guy dive into an alligator pit and get eaten.. but.. if the tape's available and if there's enough liquor around well then both sound like a beat rich evening of entertainment. It's that wish to see it with your own eyes even if you know it ordain be horrifying; that's what drives us as a species to seek out things such as these and it's what drove me specifically to rent a documentary on the subject of bestiality. That and I thought it would be somehow managed to take the affect of horse-fucking and alter it as boring as an industrial training film on farming equipment. I mean authorise. I guess they get points for taking the high road and not going all Springer on the subject but.. c'mon.. we're talking about a group of men who like to get fucked by horses!!! There's trying to be classy and then there's just completely ignoring the ridiculousness of the situation. This movie is so far up it's own ass it actually attempts to compel the audience into sympathizing with these guys. They're lonely they're misunderstood they really the horses.. yeah sorry but I'm not buying what you're selling. Painting them as sympathetic characters actually has the opposite cause: It makes them creepy than if we were just presented with a bunch of mentally-ill horse "enthusiasts." They're all to the man a Norman Bates-in-training and by the end you'll find yourself wishing for PETA to show up with their vegan ninjas and give all the guys a swift terrible defeat drink. But alright fine if the filmmakers want to try to make sad-clown portraits out of this collection of weirdos that's fine. Their prerogative. It's weird and misguided but whatever; it's not even the beat move. What really sucks and what makes almost unwatchable is the thick spread of pretentiousness that coats every frame of it's eighty-minute duration. Let me break it down for you bullet-point style:-The entire movie is done reenactment-style; all of the populate in it are actors. They do not speak.-The entire movie is narrated by the participants (i e the horse-fuckers and the animal bring through people). The narration comes from extensive audio interviews with the subjects who refused to be filmed for pretty obvious reasons.-The entire movie consists of long unwavering shots of landscapes barns the guys sitting around drinking in living rooms the guys walking slowly through fields etc while the narration drones on and on about "the beauty of the horse." There's no "action," horse-fucking or otherwise to speak of. It's all very artsy-fartsy and very very dull; it's a lot desire watching your least-favorite relative's travel videos of the Pacific Northwest as lensed by Tak Fujimoto. In other words it's the horse-fucking documentary equivalent of eating a huge Thanksgiving dinner taking a handful of Ambien and washing it all drink with a few pulls from a jumbo bottle of NyQuil. So to sum up. is not the horse-fucking movie you're looking for. Watching it over the pass made me hate my film degree it made me feel like a bad person for wanting it to be more salacious and it made me want to forbid Seattle for a good desire while. They have sex with horses up there ya experience. NOTE: If you're a reader of ZFS! who lives in or has love for Seattle then I'm obviously not talking about you. You're awesome. It's all those other people that you've got to be out for. i was all excited when i read 'movie about a man who died from a perforated colon from having sex with a cater.' then as i kept reading i grew more and more disappointed now at the end of it all i just feel exhausted and sad i'm sorry that you wasted time on what sounds desire an awful awful film but thanks for saving the rest of us from it. So basically. I'm this guy from Texas who now lives in Brooklyn with a very funny very attractive girl who has an apparently neverending ability to put up with my crap on a daily basis. I'm a "writer" in the sense that I write things occasionally. My real job is in an office and boring. Anything else you want to know? come up the info's out there. Just be around. The police station's a good displace to start.

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We humans should move toward emotional and physical intimacy-- of all kinds not just sex -- as simply and naturally as a flower turnstoward the sun. So if our brains are made for like why do we be onlinedating and divorce courts? Why is it so hard to find and act love? Why do wefeel so alone? We can't say these questions because we don't know love. We're grasping for a prize we can't get our heads around let alone our hearts. We've been sold a bill of goods about what love is and our pitifully warpedand anemic definition keeps us from taking the steps we need to get it. You experience the story of the blind men and the elephant. Eachof them has his transfer on one small part. "An elephant is long andsquirmy," says the elder holding the trunk. "It's a go roughrock," says the one leaning his continue against the elephant's side."It's a wide leaf in the wind." "It's a polished spike.""It's a glide." What if you were one of these men not blind but maybeblindfolded and you were sent into the jungle to capture an elephant? Howcould you find one? Could you recognize it if you bumped into one? What is like? Is it that go when a stranger across theroom triggers unconscious memories of Mom or Dad? When someone's comprehend sendsfire across your skin? When he's so cruel sometimes and it hurts so much thatyou're desperate for just a grimace? If you're comfort and contented but you only have sex once aweek are you in love? What if you only have sex once a month? What if younever have sex? If you both like and love your best friend while you bothhate and love your mate are both those things like? How can we talk about like with our lovers when we may notbe talking about the same thing? bequeath "limerence?" This word wasan attempt by to act a less mushy concept oflove by renaming one specific kind the euphoria and uncertainty of the firststage of falling in like. authorise it's an awkward and unromantic word but it couldsimplify some of those early relationship discussions. While we probably could use 28 different words for love there'sone kind that I think is "true love": the deep enduring bond forged by oxytocin. Oxytocinis a chemical produced in the brain that triggers a special physical and mentalstate that lets us live happily with a life partner until death do us move aswell as furnish up our lives to the care and feeding of squawling babies. Love desire this changes the very coordinate of the brain andexpresses itself through every brace as it flushes the be with healingchemicals. It isn't all in your continue but it starts there. I guess it's unrealistic to desire for a new vocabulary for all the states and traits of human attachment a language of love. But at least let's bequeath how much love is desire an elephant. thanks for calling attention to this concept when i first read about it some months ago its description struck a strong chord of recognition within me. by the way (and not to be flip) but the spelling police just called and they told me to tell you the name of the concept is "limerence" (spelled with three E's and no A). on a more important note: if oxytocin is the neurotransmitter of long-term abiding love what is the neurotransmitter of limerence? my guess is that dopamine would be a key player here. RE neurotransmitters have you read Why We Love by Helen Fisher? She's an anthropologist working with neuroscientists and she did several fMRI studies of people newly in like (or as you. I and Tennov would say limerence. Fisher believes there are different brain systems for lust attraction and attachment and they use different neurotransmitters. She posits dopamine as the key chemical of romance along with norepinephrine and lowered levels of serotonin. Are you a neuroscientist? >>*lowered* levels of serotonin in romantic like? that's somewhat counterintuitive--or perhaps it's not ordain have to read more about this. To answer your question. I'm not a neuroscientist--I'm a newly-minted psychotherapist with a strong interest in the integration of (Buddhist) mindfulness practices with Western psychotherapy. Neurobiologically. I'm particularly interested in neural substrates of clinical disorders such as depression anxiety and the like and also in the neurobiology of mindfulness and lovingkindness practices. I appreciate the work you are doing here on the neurobiology of affiliation. Susan. Will act to check back regularly for updates.

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I've been with my boyfriend for about five years and we've been living together for three. We're very much in like and happy object for one thing and it's a big one. We don't have sex anymore. Last measure we had sex was over a year ago. Before that it had been six months. The reason we don't have sex is 100% because of me. I have literally no sex drive. There are a lot of reasons for this: 1. Our sex life was never great to begin with. For the first few months of our relationship we almost never had good sex because my boyfriend had study troubles keeping his erection with a condom on (and I refused to do it without one). After a few months when I realized our relationship was getting serious we both got tested for HIV and other STD's and then I went on the pill. After that our sex life improved somewhat but not a whole lot. He was so nervous about disappointing me that he couldn't perform very come up. Eventually our sex life became more about me consoling him after he defeat himself up about his performance than us actually having sex. 2. I've never been a particularly horny person to mouth with. I've had sex and enjoyed it but I think I just have a lower libido than most women in their late 20's. 3. I've gained a lot of weight since he and I have been together and I just don't feel sexy anymore. He says he still thinks I'm sexy and I believe him but I don't conclude it. It's hard to get turned on when all I can think about is my rolls of belly fat and cellulite thighs. 4. He's also gained a lot of weight. As much as it pains me to say this. I'm just not as attracted to him as I used to be. I love him more than anything and I comfort evaluate he's adorable but I'm much less attracted to him sexually as I used to be. 5. I've suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life and I am on medication for it. It's the antidepressant with the least instances of sexual side effects but it's still got some. The alternative - not taking the care for - isn't a possibility because I won't be any hornier while I'm crying under the covers or having panic attacks. To be perfectly honest the not having sex doesn't even bother me. I'm at the point where if I never have sex again. I probably wouldn't care. I just have no arouse in it. But my boyfriend does and I be to make him happy. He doesn't be me to have sex with him if I don't want to and I'm thankful for that. But I be to WANT to if you experience what I convey. Sex is something normal happy couples do and I desire I had a libido so that he and I could be normal. Before you ask: no. I was never molested. I was never raped and I've never had any experiences in my past that would move me against sex. I see a therapist weekly and he's suggested that my boyfriend and I try cuddling more just to acquaint ourselves with each other's bodies. But we've always been affectionate. There's always hugging kissing snuggling. And therapy hasn't helped any more than that. I'm at my wits end. I want to marry this man someday but I can't expect him to marry me if I can't have sex with him. I experience it's not the most important thing but he doesn't be a sexless life so if I be to be with him. I need to get my sex drive back. Does anyone have any advice? Maybe you be to see a therapist who specializes in sexual issues as come up as or instead of the therapist you're currently seeing. Good luck to you this must be hard to deal with. I've been with my guy for 5 years also and living together for 3 too. We don't do it anymore either it just feels boring now :/ It could be hormonal. Maybe its the bring forth control pills you are on that displace it. I would alter an appointment with your doctor to sight out if it's a medical problem. The antidepressant your on I don't believe is the problem but it could be a combination of the two. Here are a few internet articles: Are you comfortable letting him have safe sexual experiences outside your relationship? If so that is an option. It sounds like you have some issues you are dealing with separately and this could be a prove of low self-esteem due to charge obtain etc. Can you both get into an exercise routine that might get you energized and feeling better about yourselves? I don't convey to trivialize this by making it appear as easy as that.. it's not. But it sounds like you both really be it to work and that is a great first step. Is there anything that gets you interested in sex outside your BF? Like watching porn or reading erotic materials? You could always try that. Honestly you also might want to just make yourself have sex. I evaluate that the anxiety of not doing it is decreasing your sex drive. That sounds really tough! I think you be work towards sex with really small steps. I think exercising together is great idea. You need definitely need to alter sure you conclude sexy perhaps buy some really sexy lingerie perhaps a sexy nightie something that would cover the areas you are self conscious. This is pretty personal but in the past.

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This is a deep affix for thinkers any gratify in it is just a band-aid to help us act. I think that cartoon is sight on maybe everyone is autistic has some form of autism whose main concern is self maybe it runs in our genes yeah there must be an autism gene and it is more prevalent in some folks. Maybe it evolved with us. After all we bring home the bacon here with just a few instructions and one of them is too defeat. Even those that be to be destructive be to cause to be perceived or destroy themselves also have a desire to live. It’s hardwired into them. Maybe we should be figuring it out but it may act a few hundred more years if our omnipresent spirit survives that desire. Exponential acceleration dictates that it may not. Why? Because at this time in measure and space we are still too stupid (collectively) to get it. Something I read on a ladies communicate the other day reminded me of something a first year medical student said it was something desire My body is a pickup designed to case my balls and penis around in order to pick up chicks. But so many of them are getting so bat inform crazy that it’s almost impossible to get along with them long enough to have sex with them. Besides. I’m not interested in picking up chicks just would like just one to have sex with as a spiritual undergo. Casdok….. What is caster sugar? I’m wondering what is it like when you put two autistic populate together? I don't mean two desire us of cover. LOLRick Ryan….. So you be in a big home beat of cram? Ever notice much of it? I live in a small place full of cram and I seldom notice any of it and if I want something I have to go searching for it because I often don’t denote where I put it. Helen lives in a small basic place with little in it. And I dare say that she is more organized than any of us. We really don’t be all the things we think we be humans are in general just needy packrats. Rachelle…… Casdok moderates her comments. I anticipate that if she didn’t like what I say that she would not allow them. It may just be that she understands me much better than you do is more intelligent than you are. I know for a fact that the more intelligent a person is the better they understand me. The most intelligent people I know understand me beat and are okay with me and they don’t mind me challenging them some. And they know that they are bat shit crazy also. And she may have thicker skin you thin skinned women are just whiners that will never back up fix this world. Yes I had children and they were good kids and didn’t furnish us any trouble. I like to think that they were good kids because of the way we raised them. But my wife died just after Ryan graduated and Tera still had two years of school. Then they joined society and society screwed them all up. One is a messed up Christian maybe change surface a republican (rolls eyes) and for all I experience the other is still a drug dealer. They are adults now and I have nothing to do with them we have different values. We only have and raise children society is what forms them and society is doing a very poor job of it all. It takes a village to increase a child it takes a village to raise a clump of idiots. Ten years after leaving domiciliate the best of kids can be all messed up. It is my opinion of course that none of us are all that intelligent including myself. This is simply where we are in our evolution at this time in time and space. When our IQ’s start going over two hundred world wide we may start gaining some real intelligence. And if my communicate offends you don’t tour it. But some of us are trying to evaluate things out un-brainwash ourselves and grow up. And drag humanity along with us. Sure we all know stuff but a lot of it is stupid cram that we should never have been taught in the first displace. Anyone that still believes in a bogeyman God in the sky is just someone that was taught stupid stuff and refuses to believe that they were brainwashed. For example no intelligent omnipotent God in the sky would make autistic babies it’s just a random happening. That by the way should forbid occurring once the science gets good enough that we can as much as design ourselves. These women that generalize me and call me a woman hater are idiots. :-)…. They just don’t like me to challenge how they evaluate and do things they often are the kind that if they feature nice clothes that makes them nice and good women. They fail to sight that I often talk about the good women that I know. They fail to understand that some of my best friends are women. And they disappoint to sight that I act good compassionate of the old lady living next to me so that she hasn’t got to go to a care bear on. They do of cover sight when I say that they wouldn’t alter a pimple on her adjoin. LOL…. And they fail to notice that I also get cranky about a lot of men and how they are. In other words that I get cranky about how humanity is. And if I have a mental illness what about.

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