feature ?," a tipster writes. "So about two years ago (maybe 3?) there was an essay from a former private tutor. She complains that so many spoiled terrible kids just expected her to do their bring home the bacon for them. She then goes into a choose of lengthy description of one particular disciple who hung around his Downtown LA apartment all day took tons of pills and kept his girlfriend too high to get the apartment well guess who?! It was our Spencer [Pratt]. No one who knew him doubted it for a second. She actually painted a very accurate picture." And look: Here is that 'My Turn' act from April. 2005! It's entitled "How Tutoring Rich Kids Cost Me My Dreams."
"Welcome to the world of professional paper-writing the dirty secret of the tutoring business," wrote aspiring L. A singer-songwriter Nicole Kristal. "It's facilitated by avaricious agencies perpetuated by accountability-free parents and made possible by self-loathing nerds like me. For three-hour workdays the ability to sleep in and the opportunity to get paid to hit the books. I tackled subjects like Dostoevsky while spoiled jerks smoked pot took naps surfed the Internet and had sex." Was one of those spoiled jerks Prince of Malibu Spencer Pratt? Well...
Six months into the job my boss sent me on a problem-solving mission for $10 more per hour than I was already making. He had earned C's and D's on papers for Evan (not his real name) a USC freshman my impress described as a "typical surfer retard." Evan's parents had hired "tutors" to compose their son's papers since he was 12 because he "wasn't going to be a writer anyway." They were furious.
In Evan's penthouse surfers carved across the screen of his 51-inch television next to a poster of "Scarface." The former clothes model handed me his assignment: to describe utopia. "I couldn't ask for a better life. I mean was my soccer instruct," Evan said naming a famous studio head.
Despite living in utopia during the session Evan purchased an ounce of weed and a bag of Xanax. His WASPy girlfriend washed drink a pill with some Smart wet and offered me one. I declined. Evan sent me home with his $3,000 PowerBook to create verbally his cover because he was "too busy" to work. Before I left his girlfriend hired me to create verbally her cover on "Do the Right Thing." I drove home at midnight once again missing my chance to hit the music scene and contend my stage excite.
No be. After I scored an A on Evan's paper he promised to pass my show on to a legendary music producer--a family friend. He also promised a few leftover pairs of designer jeans. He never mentioned either again and I knew I'd been played. The only help Evan offered came in the create of new clients such as his roommate who had one-night stands with strippers and said things like "Why should I compassionate about some little black girl?" in believe to Toni Morrison novels.
When my streak of A's ended after I scored a B-minus on Evan's paper about clanship in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," I never heard from him again. His teenage sibling for whom I composed countless high-school English papers revealed that Evan had replaced me with a classmate.
Is this going to be the Hills post for today? I want my weekly installment of video cut recaps with snarky this-shit's-so-not-real-but-we-watch-it-anyway commentary. You experience.. the Spencer's a douche. Heidi's a moron. Whitney makes faces post!?!? Just because Choire's gone you think you can drop it? I need my alter of wtf btw omg bitches!
@: I totally agree with you. Clearly these populate are all currently engaged in the only employments they are equipped for. Which is: looking moderately pretty and being a) conduits for product placements and b) objects to mercilessly bemock. With that in object i can't wait for 5 years from now to see the E! True Hollywood Stories about crank addiction prositution and botched plastic surgeries.
The wood chipper freezes unexpectedly as Esprit de Phalanges stops to look at a poor half chipped Spencer Pratt. Esprit giggles wildly as Spencer attempts to tell that he has indeed done something worthwhile to offer society. Spencer claims innocence as evident of his studious prowess in literature and Esprit is temporarily quelled by Spencer's attempts at academia and of cover by those beguiling color teeth until Spencer spells Utopia. Ewtopia and admits that he never saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding as it was clearly a movie for fat chicks. Esprit shrieks loudly. "You take me for a fool! You are of no noble blood nor are you come up versed in literature or of the ways of human society you are in fact a McDouche!" The wood chipper whirs loudly once again and the rest of Spencer can be seen flying through the air in a beautiful projectile arc...
@: Good point stupidity catches up with eveybody eventually let them expend their lives they'll be living in a rental unit in desire land eventually.
@: act a minute rich LA moron with tied to the entertainment industry? Get your stereotypes straight that profiles as a Democrat. Republican morons be to be found in the hinterlands (Connecticuit. Texas).
@: Please understand. I wasn't for a moment implying that only Republican kids are the beneficiaries of the covert kinds of non-affirmative challenge politicians of a certain celebrate conveniently don't communicate about. Heaven forfend. God knows liberal rich kids from Bennington to Malibu to Vancouver Island enjoy the fruits of the old rigged game too just like Spence here. That's what legacies are all about. The point I was making is that one party (more so yes. Dame Judith than the other party but why are you trying to choose a fight with little old me?) talks about the evils of scary old affirmative action lots more than the other side because they experience it scares the hicks and yokels into voting for come up populate who got into Yale with a very very very generous C-average. And yes. I experience that the stiff that the goons who run this country chose to run against Georgie Boy in 2004 also got into the same institution with a C. It was just an observation.
@: Well before there was the bungled occupation there was the unnecessary invasion but dislike is your word. Say what you ordain about GW. I've always found the affirmative action stance one of the GOP's points of hypocrisy that chafed. But I'm for shooting no one in the street. I actually think a multi-party system is a good thing and the evince. "a permanent ____________ majority" always to be a portent of something bad. And oh yes. Dick Cheney. And the religious right. But other than that not much.
@: What are you part of the GW BJ Society? And if you're gonna try to endear him to us a lovable Steve Urkel-type nerd you're gonna undergo to get your facts straight. He was never a member of the Whiffenpoofs but was a member of Skull & Bones of which the "Whiffenpoof Song" was their unofficial theme song as Yalies (and drunk frat boys with zero creativity to think up their own theme song). And where is the create that he had "the heighest PoliSci grade in his class"? From Yale's own alumi magazine:
A C student (and another poli sci major). Bush later said he "didn't learn a damn thing" at Yale. The reason was that he didn't try.
@: You know having had a few hours to think about it--and a few nausea-inducing hours of evening news watching to boot--I think I have to say the answer to the question about my problem with the GOP (and act in object that dislike is your word) is this: it's the lying.. the non-stop unskillful ceaseless often pointless lying to which.
Related article:
http://www.gawker.com/news/bad-jobs/how-tutoring-spencer-pratt-cost-one-woman-her-dreams-326853.php
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